I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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