I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
high people should be assigned attendants
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
