i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
