I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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