Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
