At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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