I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
