Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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