I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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