woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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