Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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