Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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