I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
even my farts smell like vagina
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
there is glitter all over my balls
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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