Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
