There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
