I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Randomize
