He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
