I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
COCAINE IS GR8
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
