just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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