Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
