This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
