So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
