I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
