I could have mohawked her pubes.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
and she was petting her beer can
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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