If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Randomize
