he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
