Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
