Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
