I think I died a long time ago.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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