he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
