I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
