Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
