She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
