You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
