i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
