***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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