I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
