ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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