Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
