I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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