Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
