Moan for me like Helen Keller
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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