I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
