just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am one with the molecules
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
