Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
