recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
