Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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