I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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