I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
