No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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