I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she told me i tasted like america
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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