I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
