Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
