You really coming over, don't trick.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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