i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
