Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
