why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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