C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
