you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
