His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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