Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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