I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm just crazy horny about you
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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